Love, Life, Living, Calendar

So, you live in the pastor's house? I bet most of your conversations are
probably about the church, the work of the church, church officers, members,
and visitors. You and your spouse are probably more consumed with the life of
the church than the life at home. Perhaps, life at home has become secondary
to the life of the church. Perhaps, your spouse seems to love the church and
the people more than loving you. Perhaps, finances are in place at church,
but they are not in place at your own home. To top it all off, church
officers and members probably expect your attention at all times even though
you feel like you have already given them everything. After all, isn't your
family the leader! Why is everything falling apart at the pastor's house?

As leaders, you have so much pulling on you from many different directions.
You are shepherds, but you also need a shepherd. The Pastor's House, Inc. is
here to help you pick up the pieces and move forward. I write to offer you
encouragement and hope.

As a pastor's wife, I lived in the pastor's house for six years. Now, I have
been separated and divorced for three years. When married, as assistant
pastor, my spouse was committed to the church. He attended every meeting,
traveled when required, answered every call, and went beyond the call of
duty. Because I didn't have the same involvement, gradually, I became bored
and lonely. As a homemaker and mother, I enjoyed the children, but the adult
interaction was not there. The intimate marriage that I had expected to have
was not there. I quickly learned that marriages in the ministry were
different from what we consider a "normal" marriage.

That loneliness and boredom led to an extramarital affair. The affair led to
a divorce. The divorce led to us both leaving the ministry. Confusion,
silence, hurt, and pain all became my new way of life. Three years later,
God has brought us both back to the ministry, but in different places. He
has remarried. I am still single. Ironically, I've become more involved in
ministry than what I was previously.

I believe that fervently seeking Him [Christ] for the process of healing
brought about a deeper personal relationship with Christ. The realization of
just how much Jesus loves us brought about a greater appreciation for the
ministry and the work of the Lord. Being married and working in ministry
isn't easy. Life may seem as if you aren't married at all, but divorce is
not the answer. People always want to know how I can freely "tell my
business". The reality is that as God's people, we do not have our own
personal life business. Our trials are to be used as a witness to others.

If you and your spouse are going through trials, temptations, and
tribulations, count it all joy. James 1:2-4 teaches us that the trying of
our faith worketh patience. Let patience have her perfect work, that ye may
be perfect, and entire, wanting nothing.

When you realize that all things work together for good to them that love
God, to them who are the called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28), you
can go through the fire without smelling like smoke. You can go through your
trials knowing that God wants to purify and refine you. He has a plan for
you.

If you feel like you've messed up so bad, know that there is nothing too hard
for God. Your identity is in Him. He made you. He knew what you were going
to face before you were born. He has made you more than a conqueror through
Jesus Christ. You are destined to lead.

So, since you live in the pastor's house, pick yourself up and press toward
the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus
(Philippians 3:14)!